← Groups & Workshops
Premarital Group · In Person
Forming · join the list

Before the Vows

The conversations worth having before you need to have them.

Six weeks for premarital and newly committed couples — not romance, but the architecture underneath it.

When
Weekends · TBD · six weeks · 90 min
For
Premarital & newly committed
Where
182 Tamarack Circle, Skillman, NJ 08558
Language
English · Ukrainian · Russian
Approach
The Gottman Method

Most of what makes a marriage last isn’t romance — it’s architecture. The quiet agreements about money, closeness, and whose family wins that you never think to make out loud — until the day they make themselves.

You’re not choosing a partner without problems. You’re choosing which problems you’ll have for thirty years — and this is six weeks of choosing them with your eyes open.

Each week is a short teaching piece, then private practice in the room. Nothing performative — just the conversations worth having before you need to have them — so you walk in already knowing how to find each other.

♡ ♡ ♡

The six weeks

From what you’re actually choosing to building the thing on purpose.

Week
1

What you’re actually choosing

Not romance — architecture. Who is this person right now, and who are they becoming?
Practice
Love Maps for the future. What are you afraid of? What do you want at 40?
Home
One question a day.
Week
2

Turning toward

Marriages aren’t sustained by grand gestures but by thousands of small bids, and whether we notice them. This is the week that predicts everything.
Practice
Spotting your partner’s bids — including the ones that don’t look like bids. Naming admiration out loud.
Home
One specific appreciation daily.
Week
3

How you fight

Most couples believe they’ll solve their disagreements. Roughly two-thirds of conflict in any relationship is perpetual — you’re not choosing a partner without problems, you’re choosing which problems you’ll have for thirty years.
Practice
Sorting yours into solvable and perpetual. Softened startup, rehearsed.
Home
One hard thing, asked well.
Week
4

What you’re each importing

Every one of us arrives carrying a family’s unspoken rulebook — about anger, money, closeness, apology. You don’t notice yours until it collides with theirs.
Practice
Naming your rules. Where do they conflict?
Home
Ask your partner about a rule you’d never questioned.
Week
5

The unglamorous specifics

Money, work, sex, in-laws, children, whose career bends. Vague agreement here is the most expensive thing you can carry into a marriage.
Practice
Structured conversation on the two that scare you most.
Home
Finish one of them.
Week
6

Building the thing on purpose

Rituals, shared meaning, and what you want this marriage to be for.
Practice
Writing your own rituals of connection.
Home
Yours to keep.
How payment works
$95 per couple, per session
Paid in full at enrollment

Groups run out-of-network and privately. Paying in full at enrollment holds your place for the whole series — and lets the group form as a stable, closed circle: the same people, from beginning to end.

Refunds

A full refund if you withdraw before the first session. In the first two weeks, a prorated refund or a credit toward a future group. Once the group has formed, the remaining sessions aren’t refundable — the circle was built around your place in it — but if something serious comes up, talk to me and we’ll find a fair way through.

Superbill

A superbill is available for possible partial reimbursement through your out-of-network benefits. Whether a group qualifies depends on its nature, so it’s best to check with your insurance company.

Reserve your spot

Seats are limited to keep the group small and safe. Reach out — we’ll find out together whether this is the right next step for you, and there’s no pressure either way.

Contact to reserve
alesia@ivycounselinggroup.com (609) 688-8300
Where we meet 182 Tamarack Circle, Skillman, NJ 08558